The UMP-45 | Neo-Noir is like that edgy graphic novel you pretend to read for “the art” but secretly just love the drama. Dressed in monochrome with neon accents, it’s the CS:GO equivalent of a cyberpunk protagonist’s sidearm—all style, zero chill. Minimal Wear? Sure, if “lightly scuffed” counts as “character.” It’s the gun you whip out when you want enemies to think you’re a tactical genius, even if you’re just spraying wildly into smoke. Bonus: the neon lines glow in dark corners, so you can admire your poor life choices while camping B site. UMP life: budget SMG, millionaire ego.