The M249 | Spectre is like that flashy sports car you drive in a traffic jam—looks cool, but practicality? Not so much. Draped in a digital camo pattern that screams "I’ve watched too many military documentaries," this LMG is the heavyweight champ of spray-and-pray. Minimal Wear means it’s only slightly scuffed from being dropped by players who realized too late that $5,200 buys you a glorified peashooter with a reload time longer than a Valve patch cycle. Perfect for flexing in casual mode or trolling teammates who question your life choices. Just don’t expect to win rounds—unless the enemy dies laughing.