The UMP-45 | Primal Saber (Factory New) is like that one friend who shows up to a paintball match in full medieval armor—over-the-top, but you can’t help being weirdly impressed. This skin slaps a ferocious saber-toothed predator across the gun’s body, complete with tribal etchings and a metallic sheen that screams, “I’m here to eco-frag in style.” The Factory New finish keeps it looking sharp, though let’s be real: slapping a primal-themed masterpiece on a UMP is like putting a racing stripe on a scooter. It’s still a budget SMG, but at least you’ll flex on the enemy team while getting outgunned by actual rifles. Rawr.