The Bowie Knife | Black Laminate (Well-Worn) is like that one friend who insists they’re “ruggedly handsome” but definitely skipped a few showers. Its chunky blade and dark, layered handle scream “I’m here to chop firewood… and maybe your kneecaps.” The “Well-Worn” finish? Let’s just say it’s seen more backstabs than a corporate boardroom—scratches and scuffs included free of charge. Sure, it’s not the shiniest blade in the armory, but swinging this thing feels like announcing, “I’ve got nothing to prove… except how extra I am.” Bonus: It doubles as a makeshift paddle if you ever need to escape a losing match by rowboat. Priorities, right?