The StatTrak™ UMP-45 | Oscillator (Battle-Scarred) is like that old laptop your dad insists still works “perfectly fine” — clunky, scratched, but weirdly endearing. Its circuit-board design looks like someone tried to hack the Matrix with a soldering iron, but the Battle-Scarred wear turns it into a glitchy relic from a cyberpunk garage sale. The StatTrak counter? That’s just there to remind you how many times you’ve panic-sprayed this budget SMG into a wall instead of enemies. Sure, it’s no AWP, but for eco rounds, it’s the gun equivalent of duct tape: not pretty, but it’ll hold your team together… until someone inevitably steals your AK.