The StatTrak™ MP9 | Featherweight (Battle-Scarred) is like that one gym buddy who swears they’re “still shredded” but clearly skipped leg day for three years. This SMG’s “Featherweight” name suggests grace, but the Battle-Scarred finish looks like it’s been dragged through a gravel pit by a very angry raccoon. The chipped paint and rusted edges scream, “I’ve seen things,” but hey, at least the StatTrak counter keeps tally of your spray-and-pray kills to distract from its tragic aesthetic. It’s the gun you bring when you want to flex your trigger discipline and your commitment to embracing chaos. Perfect for players who think “vintage” is just another word for “free camouflage.”